Self-awareness expert Gustavo Razzetti says that our brains handle negative and positive information in different ways. Negative situations tend to require more thought and therefore are processed more completely. The result of this is that it is easier to recall negative things than it is the good things that have happened. (.
With negative thoughts being so easy to recall this can lead to a tendency to dwell on things that happened in the past. We relive past traumas over and over and cannot let go of things. This leaves us more focused on what is behind us than what good things may be in our present or future.
You Carry Resentment
Mental health expert Steven Stosny, Ph.D. suggests that resentment is like a heavy chain which is built over time. The roots of resentment often go back into our past and the chain is built with links of perceived wrongs. When we feel constantly attacked by a person or circumstances, we become obsessed with the things we feel they have done to us. We replay old hurts over and over and are unable to let them go or forgive them.
Carrying resentment for situations from the past can often cause an impact on our prospects for the future. If we were cheated on by a partner, we may assume that any future partner will do the same thing. If we feel we were cheated out of a promotion we may feel that trying again will be a waste of time.
Constantly Wishing You Could Change the Past
We all have regrets, things we wish we could do over that we are sure would have made our present and future better. Most people can resign themselves to the fact that we cannot go back and change things but some people will obsess over the missed opportunities.
Those who are stuck in the past will find themselves less motivated to try and move forward with new things. They will constantly wish they had chosen a different career or married a different partner.
This constant desire to be able to change the past leaves people unsatisfied with the things they have. They may resent not having followed a dream rather than starting a family.
You Constantly Compare the Present to the Past
A big sign that you are stuck in the past is that you may find yourself comparing things from the past to what you have now. You may romanticize a relationship with an ex and think of the ways they were better than who you are with now. A former job you loved and left behind may be compared to the job you now have and hate.
Essentially, a yearning for the days when you were younger, healthier, and happier leaves you unsatisfied with your present life. It is a sign of not being able to move forward. You would rather focus on old memories of a life that you no longer live than embrace the things you have now.
You Fear Major Change
The past can give us comfort sometimes. This could be a home you have lived in for decades or a job you have had for years. You may be scared to consider moving to a new home or furthering your career in an unknown direction.
When things that have remained the same for years start to change it may cause anxiety or make you push back against it. If you can’t embrace change you may be stuck in a past that has always kept you feeling secure.
Somatic coach (therapist) in Canton, GA, and Worldwide Life Coach dedicated to inspiring and assisting people worldwide through candid conversations about anxiety. Having personally battled general anxiety, panic disorder, and OCD, I understand the daily challenges those grappling with anxiety face. My journey involved searching for the right therapist, medication, and natural supplements and undergoing various tests. It was only after deciding to reclaim my life that I finally overcame anxiety’s hold. I’m passionate about helping others conquer their struggles and discover their life purpose.