Panic Attacks: Where do They Come From?

What is a Panic Attack?

According to Google, a panic attack is a sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety. Symptoms can range from shortness of breath, heart palpitations or a racing heart, to others such as sweating, trembling, shaking, a choking feeling or numbness. Panic attacks can be extremely frightening, yet fortunately, they are not physically harmful.

My First Experience with Panic

I experienced my first panic attack in my late twenties. I was just out of school, fairly new to the area I was living in and also to corporate life. I’ve always had a feeling of generalized anxiety about me, but had never before felt that anxiety turns into panic.

I remember having lunch one day and the chest pains which began soon after. I believed at the time I was having a heart attack. What had occurred was my thoughts had turned into feelings, those feelings turned into panic and then the attack hit me out of nowhere. My heart was racing, I felt dizzy and confused, out of place (kind of a surreal feeling) and this stuck with me for about fifteen to twenty minutes.

That first experience changed my perspective surrounding those of us that struggle with anxiety and panic. I had no idea at the time I was also, in fact, struggling with a form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) called Sensorimotor, also known in this day and age as health anxiety.

A Year-Long Battle

Following that initial attack, they remained infrequent until my late thirties. At that time, I again found myself engulfed amidst the stressors of a new job, a newborn baby and everything seemed to be hitting me at once.

I recall leaving the office one night and a panic attack struck me out of nowhere, accompanied by the same type of feelings and emotions as the very first one in my twenties. This time, however, it kind of came and went, but then seemed to keep coming back, one after another, after another. I would feel dissociated with self, like in a dream state (also known as depersonalization) and felt as if I was having panic attacks all day long for a year straight!

What happens many times with those of us who struggle with this is we become agoraphobic. We don’t want to leave the house due to fear of the panic and thus stop living life. That’s pretty much what happened to me. I went from home to work and work to home, getting myself caught in a cycle where even in those places, I didn’t feel safe or get a reprieve. Many who struggle with agoraphobia or panic will be able to hold the attacks at bay if they aren’t in the triggering environment/situation. As for myself, however, I experienced panic even in those supposed “safe zones”. This was partially due to the obsessive thoughts I endured. I would get myself into a state of mind where I’d be constantly waiting and/or fearing the next one, which in turn is what caused another attack. Just as we can fear our fear, I panicked over my panic and this eventually brought me to my knees.

Change of Perspective

Once I decided to confront the underlying causes, I began to realize the manifestation of panic was due to those internal issues I had refused to face. Whether it be trauma, lies or the masks I had been wearing, I was ultimately attempting to be somebody I wasn’t. I didn’t want to deal with those problems in my life, so I suppressed them. This will eventually cause them to resurface at some point, just as mine rematerialized through panic.

I also learned various modalities and techniques to assist in dealing with said panic throughout this process. It didn’t mean the attacks just disappeared. What it did mean, however, was I quit running from and instead dealt with the non-surface issues head-on.

A pivotal point for me came during one particular attack where I decided to flip the script and invited the panic in. I told myself I wasn’t going to fight it and this attack lasted only 30 seconds compared to previous ones of 30 minutes. As you learn how to work with, rather than against, and start sifting through the underlying trauma, abuse, shame, anger, etc., I found the velocity in which the panic would come and the veracity decreased significantly. One thing I teach in my coaching is I don’t believe we ever fully rid ourselves of anxiety, but as we learn to look at and interact with it differently, it will lose its power over us.

So if you struggle with panic, I would first encourage you to get real in regards to what fears you’re not facing or whatever else you may be avoiding. I would then suggest working through those with someone who can teach you the mechanics to move alongside the fear, as panic attacks are just “fear talking”. When we can confront and learn to work with it, rather than against it, this is an area of our lives which we can ultimately heal.