Suicidality Within Borderline Personality Disorder
My last attempt to die by suicide was a little over 5 years ago. I say my last because it was also my 4th attempt. The thing is, I wish I could say it was only the 4th time I had entertained such thoughts.
Unfortunately, I tend to wrestle with suicidal thoughts on an almost daily basis.
And I also struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Suicidality Within Borderline Personality Disorder
Those diagnosed with BPD have a higher known completed suicide rate than any other mental illness. It’s estimated that up to 10% of those with this disorder will die by suicide (typically by an overdose of pills), which is 50% higher than the general population.
And around 70% will attempt to take their own life at least once, with most averaging a total of 3 attempts throughout their lifetime.
Suicidal thoughts are so prevalent among those with BPD that it’s listed as 1 of the 9 possible criteria in the DSM-5, which is the basis used to diagnose this disorder. And as compared to those with classic mood disorders (whose suicidal thoughts occur when acutely depressed), those same thoughts in individuals with BPD are considered to be chronic and can last anywhere from a few months to years at a time.
Why is this so Common?
Those struggling with BPD battle to regulate their emotions on a daily basis. As opposed to Bipolar Disorder where the highs and lows usually maintain for an extended period of time, individuals with BPD can be on a constant rollercoaster of extreme ups and downs throughout each day.
According to www.psychiatrictimes.com, “Suicidal ideas and actions in patients with BPD perform several functions. The first is providing a sense of control. If one cannot master one’s life, one can at least choose to die or threaten to die. The second is offering a comforting option of escape from pain and suffering. The third is communicating distress. Patients with BPD do not expect to be readily heard by others, and often feel they need to demonstrate the depth of their suffering in a concrete fashion.”
Add into the mix the propensity to self-harm or have a co-occurring substance abuse addiction, the impulsivity in those with BPD then tends to increase and so does the risk of suicidal thoughts with a subsequent attempt.
Self Harm vs. Suicide
One of the many misconceptions of self-harm is that it’s a need for attention. The reality is, most self-harm is initiated to either release the overwhelming emotions trapped inside or to feel something, ANYTHING when what one actually feels is completely numb.
Basically, they are trading the emotional pain for the physical as a divergent tactic. And these individuals tend to cover up and hide those marks of self-harm out of shame. Because those who self-harm don’t want to end their life but are looking for a temporary reprieve from the extreme internal torment, whereas suicide is a permanent means to an end for that same agony.
Those who struggle with BPD and successfully die by suicide are usually further along in their diagnosis. Many whose lives are shortened by this disorder have had ongoing treatment with unsuccessful results.
As for therapists, suicidal thoughts create the most anxiety in taking on patients/clients struggling with BPD and is one of the reasons why they may be turned away for treatment.
How Can I Help?
If you have a friend or loved one who is dealing with BPD, you may feel a sense of helplessness, but there are ways in which to offer your support.
I never once came right out and asked for help before any of my own suicide attempts. Instead, I got drunk and called people at all hours of the night. That was the only way I knew how to reach out due to feeling like a burden, worthless, and/or ashamed.
Many times, those with BPD won’t take that first step in asking for help, so you need to be the one who reaches out to them. Quite often, this will need to be repeated until they feel you are a “safe space” to reveal all they are struggling with, without the fear of judgment.
Checking in with them on a scheduled basis, or if you see any unusual changes in behavior is another way for your loved one to know that they in fact DO matter and are not as worthless as they may feel at that point.
Also, let them know what they mean to you personally. A blanket phrase of “You Matter” doesn’t go nearly as far as the specific reasons they’re important to you and/or your family.
And of course, if you feel their life is in immediate danger, call the local authorities for assistance.
Those with BPD didn’t sign up for the overwhelming pain, negative thoughts, and suicidal ideation that can wind up engulfing their lives. But with the love and support of friends, family, and others in their community, they don’t need to end up becoming a statistic of this disorder.
National Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255
Writer, poet, designer, crafter, and mental health advocate. I have encountered struggles throughout life with addiction, depression, anxiety, chronic pain, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer identify with the above struggles, however, as I refuse to be defined by a disorder, disease or diagnosis. It is through the guidance of an anxiety coach in which I continue the healing of both my mental and physical health, while in the process supporting others along their own path towards recovery.